At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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