you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
