Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
