Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
