I feel great
I just peed on a car
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
