It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's official drugs can't kill me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
