Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
