Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
