I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
