All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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