Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
