You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wish you could order shots online.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
