guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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