i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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