I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
