I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
