Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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