This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
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