I feel like abortions should bother me more
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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