good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
