I CAN MOONWALK!
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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