you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The air was thick with penises
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
