i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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