I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
