Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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