So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
