Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
