i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
