if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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