Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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