I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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