I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
