Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
