Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Randomize
