I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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