Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Mom said you looked used
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
