Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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