I wanna bring you to show and tell
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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