I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
