she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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