The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
