Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
