If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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