Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think your dad took our porno
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
