look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
