I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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