We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
