sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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