CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
