i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
