its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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